Mark's birthday

Today is Mark's 61st birthday! I am so grateful that I still have him. He has had two stents in the widow maker artery. One was due to it being blocked big time and the other because after two years, he built up scar tissue around the stent and had to have another one inserted. We met when we were 21 years old!!!  We've been together for a long time but I want our time to be even longer!

Kat and Silas are moved in to their apartment in Irving and Silas started a new job today. Hope it goes well and that he likes it there and that they see what a wonderful employee they have.

Kat starts her job next week.

My job is my job... got more accomplished today than most days last week.

Looking forward to having a beach week with Kevin and Amy!

George the Cat

This is George the Cat.
He is annoyed!  He has been staying with us for 6 nights. His people came yesterday and he was so happy. But then they left...without him.  He looked out the window for awhile because he knew that they would be back. Hours later, it was bedtime, and they had not returned. So he went to his room and had dinner and had to stay in his room all night because of the stupid doggy door that everyone seems to think he will go out!

Anyway, his people are still gone and he is still annoyed.

One more night, sweet George!  They will be back tomorrow and then the next day you all move to a new apartment in Irving TX.  Welcome to TX George. This is the 4th state that you have lived in and you've only been with these humans about 5 years.  Hope you'll stay in TX for a while!

Anyway Kat and Silas had a great vacation in Mexico City. They will be here soon!

They called her!

Kat preached at Good Shepherd on Sunday morning and they voted to call her. She and Silas are going to Mexico City for a quick get away on the 14th for a few days. They move to Irving on the 22nd and Silas starts his job on the 25th. Kat starts hers on April 1. Whew.

Mark went on the Walk to Emmaus this past weekend. I wasn't sure if he would really like it, but he did. He does have a question about prevenient grace and has asked Nick, but Nick told him that it was a Methodist thing. I texted Kathryn and told her that her dad may be asking her about it. Her response was "I don't know much about it...it's a Methodist thing."  HAHA.

I talked to Kevin a little bit and things are fine in Austin. I wish Amy felt better.  I'm looking forward to spending a week at the beach with them in May.

Well that was cool

So Kathryn came in last Wednesday for her interview. She worked at the OKC church until 1:00 and texted that she was on her way. Then she texted that her check-engine light was on and she needed to see why.  Apparently she didn't have a fuel cap so she bought one and came down getting to the house at 5:10. She quickly changed clothes and I drove her to Irving. I prayed her up and she went in for the interview. I drove around Irving a bit and then went back to the church parking lot. She texted that she had left the interview while they talked about her. Then she texted that they were going to show her around the church and then she would come out.  Well, she walked out with Lydia, the head of the call committee and they told me that the call committee has recommended that she be called!  She will be back next week to preach and then the church will vote!  So all looks good, but still praying that the vote goes well.

Thursday afternoon, Kat and I drove around some of the apartments that she is looking at and although she isn't as far north as I wanted, the apartments look fine.

Thursday night, Silas came in for his interview. He went to it on Friday after breakfast at IHOP. He was offered a job at the Dallas Observer!  How cool is that!  When it's God's timing, we need to just step back and watch Him work!

Saturday, they looked for apartments in Irving and they will look at some more this weekend while they are here. This is happening very fast! They started to drive back yesterday but Kat's check engine light came back on. So she came back to the house and got the Pontiac. Her car is now at Concourse and hopefully, it isn't anything too serious.

Writing again

So my son writes a newsletter once a week. It is part of his creative-ness.  It is published on Sunday mornings so I usually read it at McDonald's before church and yesterday was no exception.

I don't think of  myself as a great writer, but during church I decided that I  needed to write more.  Maybe just to get some thoughts on "paper". So I said to self...update your blog more often!

So here goes...

My job at TCC is weird.  I'm still an instructor but I don't have any students. I'm still trying to make OCP be the best it can be, but I'm not in the lab. I have a list of things to do from Hank but it still seems weird.  The OCP lab is moving to a larger space in May and I mentioned that I thought he would put me back in the classroom at that time as there will be too many students for one teacher. He said "not necessarily".  Hmmmm.

So I keep working on his tasks and wondering how long this can go on?

Kat is coming in on Wednesday to interview. Praying and trusting that it will go well. Then Silas has an interview on Friday. Praying that it goes well too!

Here's a photo of my cat and dog enjoying our newish sofa.

Prayer

I was asked to give the talk last night at an Emmaus gathering.  Here is my talk...

Good Evening.  My name is Kim Saunders and I was on Denton Area Emmaus Walk #66 and I sat at the table of Martha.

Since the walk, I am very committed to attending my reunion group; we usually eat dinner together once a week. This group of ladies is awesome. I know that I pray for each one and I know that they pray for me. When I need specific prayers, I text them and I know that they will pray along with me.

I have always had a fairly good prayer life, but it is even better and stronger since my walk. I frequently pray in my car on the way to and from work.  When I feel that I’m not close to God, I turn on a Christian radio station and I thank the person who did the talk on Study – because she mentioned listening to Christian music.  I like and listen to all kinds of music but sometimes I just need Jesus and Christian music delivers that to me.

Since the walk, I have learned that prayer is not just me talking to God but also me being quiet enough to hear God speak to me. Sometimes this happens even when I’m not actively praying.  This year – 2018 – I have had three things that I’ve been praying about. Like…praying about them all the time, asking God if he heard me already and should I stop and trust that he heard me or should I pray without ceasing and keep bugging him about these three things. .. and I would just keep praying because I didn’t know what else to do.  In October, two of the prayers were answered with a resounding “YES” – here is the answer. 

The other one I’m still praying, trusting, and waiting.  But that prayer – it is about my daughter – I know that God has under control and the current answer is to WAIT.  You see, my daughter has graduated from seminary but hasn’t been called to a church. Her husband is looking for a new job which could take them anywhere.  So as she would tell me where he was looking, I would create an Excel spreadsheet about that city, the Lutheran churches there, etc.  I,  with the help of my spreadsheets was going to find her a church!!!  Then as I sat at my computer, I heard – not out loud but heard very clearly God say to me “You know I got this”!  Well if that isn’t the best answer to prayer.  So I keep praying about it, not because I think God will forget, but because I need to remind myself that “God’s got this”

If you are having a difficult time praying, ask your reunion group, or other Christian friends to pray too.  Try listening to Christian music, or reading a Christian magazine, or attending a bible study.  God is always right there, but sometimes we need some help in seeing that.

If you, too, are praying about something, remember to not only talk to God, but give Him space to talk to you too.

Thank you.

It's Been Awhile -- Wandering the Desert

So yesterday I got a text from my sister who wanted to post something on a blog but didn't know how to do that.  So I looked up my old blog and found that I had written some good stuff on it.  I texted my pastor my blog post about starting our church and how much joy it had brought me. Lately, I had been looking for joy and I just needed to remember back to that time when I was letting the Holy Spirit lead me!

So it's time for another update.

Last month, Mark and I along with Lisa and Paul H went on a cruise from Vancouver to Hawaii on the Celebrity Solstice. We quickly decided that we would never sail on Carnival again and probably not on Royal Caribbean.  The ship was beautiful and the service and food were awesome.

A few months back, Lisa and Paul, Kathryn and her husband, Pastor Nick, and I were sitting at a table at a party.  Lisa was trying to get her company launched. Kat's husband is looking for a job where Kathryn can fnd a church, Mark is looking for a job....and Lisa said that she feels we are all wandering in the desert. Exactly the way I'd been feeling. I went back to my prayer journal to see if I could find a recent prayer that God answered to assure me.  NOPE!  I had been praying for jobs for Lisa, Kat and her husband, and Mark since January.  NOTHING!  Except HE had spoken to me when I was making a spreadsheet for Kat's job ...  "You know, I've got this*".  Anyway...NO other answer to prayer.  Well about a week before the cruise Lisa was able to launch her company with Vistage.  I was happy for her and proud of her, but also a bit jealous of her. (Truth be told).  Then while we were on the ship, we didn't have wifi for 5 days.  When we got to Hawaii, Mark looked at his email and had one from 3 days prior from Pentair who he had interviewed with four months ago...."are you still interested and we need to know by tomorrow."  He quickly emailed back that he had been on a cruise without wifi, but that he was interested even though it is now 2 days after "tomorrow'. They emailed back and said thank you, we will make a decision next week.  Long story short....he got the job!  WOOHOO. It is for a less money than he wanted, but we have already adjusted our budget to less money and it has benefits including a company car. So I am now waiting for God to get Kat and her husband out of the desert, but I am more encouraged that "He's got this."

* A couple months ago when God clearly told me that "I've got this" I was working on a spreadsheet of various cities that Kat's husband was applying for jobs in....looking up ELCA churches and seeing if they had an interim, how old the pastor is, etc.  I told Nick about God talking to me while I was trying to get everything in my Excel spreadsheet.  He said "God probably looks at you and says Isn't she cute, thinking she can control everything with her spreadsheet." Made me smile.

Valentine's Day

To be truthful, I have never liked Valentine's Day.

When I was very young, the valentine's boxes at elementary school stressed me out! Then high school came.  I never dated anyone in high school but  my sister did! One year she had a guy bring her flowers and about 10 minutes after he left, another brought her chocolate. A guy friend of mine bought be some half price chocolate the next day. That was nice but made me feel only half loved. In college, my first boyfriend and I broke up on Valentine's Day. We knew we weren't right for each other and we tried to make it past Valentine's Day, but we just couldn't.  I met and married a much more wonderful man a few years later, and he loves me every day, but I'm still scarred by my earlier Valentine's Days. Fast forward many years to 2014. My sweet daddy went to heaven on Feb 9 and I drove back home on Valentine's Day. We did meet some friends for dinner, but my head was in a fog.

Today, Valentine's Day falls on Ash Wednesday (and Easter will fall on April Fool's Day - weird liturgical year).  So I'm just trying to be loving to everyone I encounter today and remembering that Jesus loved ALL of us so much that he came to earth and lived with us and died for us.  That's the best love! 

Happy Valentine's to you if the day makes you happy! Happy friend's day to you if that is more acceptable. Happy Feb 14 if that's all it is too!

Turning 58 and missing Elliott

I turned 58 a couple days ago!  The day itself had its ups and downs.

To start the day, I got up to check on Elliott and go to the bathroom.  On the way back to bed, I stepped in kitty poop because Deja chose to poop next to her box.  I think she was mad at me about something.

I came to work and that went well.

In the afternoon, Mark and Kathryn took Elliott to the vet because he hasn't been doing very well -- he lost 15 lbs in the last three months.  He was weak, had no muscle, and didn't have much quality of life.  They decided to release him to the Rainbow Bridge.  I hope he is running with Angel now. I always thought that he must be related to Angel because he reminded me so  much of her.

After we took time to cry and grieve a bit, we decided to go out for a birthday dinner.  We had wonderful steak at Outback.  We got our drinks and toasted Elliott.  I will miss him.  I'm sure there will be more dogs in my future, but right now, we are still missing Elliott.

Life does move on.

Losing a friend

You go through life and you get busy.  You sort of lose touch with friends.  Susie would think of someone and send them a postcard.  I sent her one in August, but I don't know if she got it.  I never really knew if she was in Alaska or Arizona.  I got one in September that she wrote on Aug 31.  At that time, I think she was in Alaska.  She was helping take care of her husband who had a heart attack.  But she may have been in Arizona in a very expensive house that she needed to sell.

We met and became friends because we were the only new girls at Nimitz Junior High school in Tulsa in the fall of 1972.  We went to different high schools but we were already best friends.  We went off to OSU together the summer of 1976 and were roommates.  She was absolutely gorgeous with wonderful long hair.  (Stole this from Facebook -- thanks to whoever posted it).

A few years ago, she was going to be alone on New Years Eve.  I talked her into flying to Dallas and staying with us for a couple days.  We had one of our low-key New Years Eve parties where we wore hats and played Apples to Apples.  She had so much fun.  I'm not sure that there was a lot of fun in her adult life.

She was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when she was in her 20's.  That helped explain some of her behavior.  I don't think living in Alaska where it is dark in the winter helped her.

Many years ago, her mother had a stroke.  Susie wasn't her primary caregiver, but she had to fight with a step brother to make sure the bills were paid.  She had to make sure that they had the right caregivers present.  Then her husband had health issues and she took care of him too.  Then he had a heart attack and she went back to Alaska to be with him.  He had a car accident recently driving from Arizona to Alaska.  I think Susie was just done taking care of people.  Someone needed to take care of her.  However, her cousin and her sister tried.  Susie could be stubborn.  Also she didn't want to bother anyone.  So due to all that and more, Susie decided that she was done with life.  On Nov 8, she was just DONE and she took her life.

Oh Susie, I will cherish that last postcard that I got from you.  I wish you knew how many people loved you.  I wish you didn't have Bipolar Disorder which lied to you about how wonderful you are.  I wish I had sent you a postcard after I got the last one.  I wish I could talk to you again and that you could come again to one of my New Years Eve parties.

Has it Really Been 10 Years?

Today as I parked in staff parking at TCC, I noticed a student being dropped off in front of a building.  This isn't that unusual.  Some people have one car for multiple people, some people just don't like to drive, and sometimes the student isn't of driving age.

I recollected that the first semester Kevin was enrolled at TCC as a dual-credit student, he wasn't of driving age for the first couple weeks of class.  So I dropped him off at that same exact spot that I saw another student being dropped off at today.  Then I realized that Kevin is 25 (soon to be 26) and when I dropped him off he was 15 (soon to be 16).  TEN YEARS AGO???? my mind screamed at me.  That can't possibly be right.  However, I am a mathy person and I know that 25-15=10.  How can TEN YEARS go by so quickly? 

Phillipians 4:6-7

Philippian 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This is "my bible verse" It has gotten me through some things! It was my mantra when I was pregnant with Kathryn.
I have a "personal blog" saved in the cloud that only God and I read. I write to God there. I write my prayers. Sometimes I rant and rave a little bit. It really is just a long word document. I started in October 5, 2009 when I was worried about the direction my church was going. Around August 2010, I started out each entry by copying and pasting my bible verse. It is supposed to remind me to stop worrying. It reminds me to give my worries to God. I pray/write about my kids, my husband, and today I wrote a prayer about someone I hardly know who may have to have heart surgery soon. I try to remember to thank God when He answers my prayers. I know that he always answers them, but sometimes I don't see the answer as readily as other times.
One of the answer in the last few years that I have seen -- my new church. Yes it was painful to watch my old church make such a radical change, but God brought me to an interim church and then to a wonderful new church home.
There are many answers to my prayers about my kids. Being a mom increases one's prayer life -- and having them move into adulthood just brings more prayers.
When I don't see the answer, I try to leave it with God and assume he is answering "that isn't the best for you" or "not now".
I pray for some friends that aren't Christian. I can't explain my faith. Some people are much better at that than I am. I once had a person ask how I could be such a logical thinker and believe in Christ at the same time. I don't think a person has a list of things we have to get done here on earth to make it to heaven -- well we have the 10 Commandments but those are broken daily by all of us. I truly believe that the only thing that saves us is Christ's grace. Do I think he had to die to save us -- not necessarily, he could have saved us any way God wanted, but that is how he saved us. I hate it when someone say "the bible clearly says "x"..." to me; because frequently the bible also clearly says "y" (I tutor Algebra alot -- hence the x and y) You can't "bible beat" anyone into believing.
So I just keep praying for my friends who don't believe and I sort of think that God's Grace is going to save them too. I know that God's Grace is much bigger than I could ever imagine.

Who's in charge?

I know that God has everything under control, but...

Yesterday at church I cried at seeing what God has done for me in the way of my church family.  A year ago, I was church homeless in that I had left a church and was visiting another one, but I knew I wouldn't join it.  In July Abiding Grace Lutheran had their first worship on my birthday.  We have been meeting at a Montessori school gym since early fall.  Now the building is going to be sold and we will have to find a new place.  Worry much -- no because I know God has done wonderful things for Abiding Grace and have no reason to worry.

Last night, I was checking my email before I went to bed.  I received the unfortunate news that a friend's fiance had died in a car accident.  Why???  They were so in love.  His first marriage had ended in divorce and now he had fallen in love again.  Why did she die?  As I ask "where was God?"  I know he was there holding her as she died in her car and whisked her away to heaven-- but why?  What about my friend who is left here on earth without her.  I know that God has everything under control, but ...   All night I kept waking up and each time I said a prayer for my friend.

Kevin and Amy are moving to Austin.  I know that God has been holding Kevin in the palm of His hand for the last 24 years.  So I keep praying that he keeps holding him and I add a prayer that he finds a job and that Amy doesn't hurt my son.  I like Amy, but a mom sometimes sees a son's love interest as someone who might hurt her son.  I pray that doesn't happen!

I know that God has everything under control so I keep praying and I keep hoping.  I know that the final victory has been won.  The "battles" here on earth are just piddly little ones in comparison! 

If you want to read a better blog -- read Kevin's  fakingmyway.wordpress.com

Kat's is good too, but she hasn't updated lately.

Home Repairs

This week the painters are at the house painting ceilings, refinishing cabinets and doors.  It is stressing me out.  My house is usually my sanctuary, but this week it is just a mess.  I have had to sleep in another room one night, wash  my  hair in the kitchen sink, apply new makeup in the Walmart parking lot where I had just bought the makeup because I couldn't get to the bathroom where my makeup is located.

The painters are very nice people, they are doing what we hired them to do -- but I will be so glad when they are done!

I'm nervous about living in a smaller house but I will be glad to have it all on one floor.  I loved having two stories for a long time, but now, I'm ready for a one story house.  We will see if the architect can make the third bedroom/office a little more livable.

Madre

I became a madre 24 years ago today!  It's been the best job I have ever had.  It's also been the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever had! (mostly rewarding)

Happy Birthday Kevin!

Christmas Letter

I always write a Christmas letter and now that I have Creative Memories Storybook Plus, I incorporate pictures.  I do feel weird about writing the letter though -- I know some people hate them.  They say it is usually just people bragging.  Well it isn't so much bragging as it is highlighting the good things -- I leave out the stuff that I don't want to remember or relive!  I mostly just send this to people not in town with me to catch up.  I LOVE getting Christmas letters!

Twinkie

Twinkie was our first cat.  She came into our life because Kathryn wanted a cat and Mark had a friend who had a cat but couldn't keep her.  We adopted her in April 1997.  Kathryn was thrilled to get a cat but Twinkie really liked Kevin best.  She was a good cat.  She was quiet, but when she was hungry she would tear open the bag if we weren't home to fill her bowl!

I didn't think I would ever want a cat.  But because of Twinkie we ended up owning two other cats. Unfortunately she didn't like either of them.

Twinkie was a one of a kind cat and she really liked it when Kevin came home from college on visits.  As I said, she liked him best.

I do hope that I will soon be able to drive into the driveway and not look up to Kev's window to see if she is sitting there.

Twinkie, I hope you are having fun at the Rainbow Bridge...and I hope BC is being nice to you.

Change can be hard -- but it can also be good

I sit here nearly in tears after tossing and turning all night.  Mark and I are seriously thinking about moving.  We had a lot of criteria for a move.  We would only move if we found a better house that was one-story, no pool, in the same town we live in, and on the same side of this town...that was within our price range.  We may have found it but it hasn't been built yet.  We're talking to the realtor today that is selling some new houses.

In anticipation of another change, Kathryn came home this weekend from college.  The three of us will officially join Abiding Grace Lutheran Church and sign its charter today.  I have very mixed emotions here.  I absolutely had to leave my former church because the "senior pastor" preaches stuff that is repugnant to me.  (I totally put the words senor pastor in quotes because I think it is silly that he calls himself the senior pastor when he is the only pastor there.)  I'm grateful I don't have to listen to his hate-filled sermons anymore, but I hate what he did to a loving Christian community.  I feel he is a sick man and I'll leave it at that.  Abiding Grace Lutheran Church is a loving place -- and I would rather be there.

Last night, we spent a couple hours clearing out Kathryn's room.  We have probably 5 bags of trash at the curb, 5 bags to take to GRACE and a couple bags of yarn to donate to a knitting group.  Her room and closet seem bare.  This was where the tossing and turning came from -- I feel we are throwing or giving away her childhood.  She isn't a child anymore, she is an adult, but it is hard to see so much stuff go.  We still have boxes under her bed and her bookcase to clean, but her room is much different now! 

I haven't actually talked to my son in awhile -- I think I need to fix that today.

Time marches on.

How Short is Your Attention Span -- a small rant!

I use social media networks. Facebook is now out-of-fashion for the younger group -- since we, their moms and dads are on it. They have turned to Twitter for now, which I love. But both sites may be affecting our attention spans!

(photo borrowed from greencountryok.com)

A couple weeks ago, I went to the play "Oklahoma" in Oklahoma at Discoveryland. If you really want to see "Oklahoma" done right -- this is the place to go. They have a huge outside stage and real horses led by real cowboys! I digress. I was sitting on the second row and the family in front of me kept checking their smartphones to check in on facebook. Folks -- this is rude behavior when you are at a performance!

Did you get that if I was on the second row and they were in front of me -- they were on the first row! Even if you don't like the play, like the song they are currently singing, don't like the ballet part (raising my hand here); it is downright rude to the actors and the audience to check your phone.

Come on people -- we can all go two to three hours without being "connected".

Not thinking...or thinking too much!

So yesterday I went down the road to get my haircut and Kathryn went with me. I was driving back on the freeway and part of the time I was following an "Express Catering" truck (roach coach). I passed him and then about another mile down the road, Kathryn said "where are you going" as I was passing the exit to our house. I replied "hmmm guess I wasn't thinking."

In reality, this is what I had been thinking and told Kathryn as we meandered back to our home. "That catering truck reminded me of an ice cream truck and that made me remember that someone had posted on facebook 'If kids get ice cream trucks, why don't adults get margarita trucks?'...and this led me to think about the dacquiri/margarita shops in New Orleans where there are many flavors of the drink against the wall...and this led me to think about self-serve yogurt shops that have popped up all over the place...and then I remembered that Cassie's yogurt here in Grapevine has both cupcake batter and cake batter and I want to get in and see what the difference is...and that they had updated their fb page that they have a new flavor, root beer float, and I wonder what flavor they got rid of...

So In reality, I was just thinking too much to make my exit!