Writing again

So my son writes a newsletter once a week. It is part of his creative-ness.  It is published on Sunday mornings so I usually read it at McDonald's before church and yesterday was no exception.

I don't think of  myself as a great writer, but during church I decided that I  needed to write more.  Maybe just to get some thoughts on "paper". So I said to self...update your blog more often!

So here goes...

My job at TCC is weird.  I'm still an instructor but I don't have any students. I'm still trying to make OCP be the best it can be, but I'm not in the lab. I have a list of things to do from Hank but it still seems weird.  The OCP lab is moving to a larger space in May and I mentioned that I thought he would put me back in the classroom at that time as there will be too many students for one teacher. He said "not necessarily".  Hmmmm.

So I keep working on his tasks and wondering how long this can go on?

Kat is coming in on Wednesday to interview. Praying and trusting that it will go well. Then Silas has an interview on Friday. Praying that it goes well too!

Here's a photo of my cat and dog enjoying our newish sofa.

Prayer

I was asked to give the talk last night at an Emmaus gathering.  Here is my talk...

Good Evening.  My name is Kim Saunders and I was on Denton Area Emmaus Walk #66 and I sat at the table of Martha.

Since the walk, I am very committed to attending my reunion group; we usually eat dinner together once a week. This group of ladies is awesome. I know that I pray for each one and I know that they pray for me. When I need specific prayers, I text them and I know that they will pray along with me.

I have always had a fairly good prayer life, but it is even better and stronger since my walk. I frequently pray in my car on the way to and from work.  When I feel that I’m not close to God, I turn on a Christian radio station and I thank the person who did the talk on Study – because she mentioned listening to Christian music.  I like and listen to all kinds of music but sometimes I just need Jesus and Christian music delivers that to me.

Since the walk, I have learned that prayer is not just me talking to God but also me being quiet enough to hear God speak to me. Sometimes this happens even when I’m not actively praying.  This year – 2018 – I have had three things that I’ve been praying about. Like…praying about them all the time, asking God if he heard me already and should I stop and trust that he heard me or should I pray without ceasing and keep bugging him about these three things. .. and I would just keep praying because I didn’t know what else to do.  In October, two of the prayers were answered with a resounding “YES” – here is the answer. 

The other one I’m still praying, trusting, and waiting.  But that prayer – it is about my daughter – I know that God has under control and the current answer is to WAIT.  You see, my daughter has graduated from seminary but hasn’t been called to a church. Her husband is looking for a new job which could take them anywhere.  So as she would tell me where he was looking, I would create an Excel spreadsheet about that city, the Lutheran churches there, etc.  I,  with the help of my spreadsheets was going to find her a church!!!  Then as I sat at my computer, I heard – not out loud but heard very clearly God say to me “You know I got this”!  Well if that isn’t the best answer to prayer.  So I keep praying about it, not because I think God will forget, but because I need to remind myself that “God’s got this”

If you are having a difficult time praying, ask your reunion group, or other Christian friends to pray too.  Try listening to Christian music, or reading a Christian magazine, or attending a bible study.  God is always right there, but sometimes we need some help in seeing that.

If you, too, are praying about something, remember to not only talk to God, but give Him space to talk to you too.

Thank you.

It's Been Awhile -- Wandering the Desert

So yesterday I got a text from my sister who wanted to post something on a blog but didn't know how to do that.  So I looked up my old blog and found that I had written some good stuff on it.  I texted my pastor my blog post about starting our church and how much joy it had brought me. Lately, I had been looking for joy and I just needed to remember back to that time when I was letting the Holy Spirit lead me!

So it's time for another update.

Last month, Mark and I along with Lisa and Paul H went on a cruise from Vancouver to Hawaii on the Celebrity Solstice. We quickly decided that we would never sail on Carnival again and probably not on Royal Caribbean.  The ship was beautiful and the service and food were awesome.

A few months back, Lisa and Paul, Kathryn and her husband, Pastor Nick, and I were sitting at a table at a party.  Lisa was trying to get her company launched. Kat's husband is looking for a job where Kathryn can fnd a church, Mark is looking for a job....and Lisa said that she feels we are all wandering in the desert. Exactly the way I'd been feeling. I went back to my prayer journal to see if I could find a recent prayer that God answered to assure me.  NOPE!  I had been praying for jobs for Lisa, Kat and her husband, and Mark since January.  NOTHING!  Except HE had spoken to me when I was making a spreadsheet for Kat's job ...  "You know, I've got this*".  Anyway...NO other answer to prayer.  Well about a week before the cruise Lisa was able to launch her company with Vistage.  I was happy for her and proud of her, but also a bit jealous of her. (Truth be told).  Then while we were on the ship, we didn't have wifi for 5 days.  When we got to Hawaii, Mark looked at his email and had one from 3 days prior from Pentair who he had interviewed with four months ago...."are you still interested and we need to know by tomorrow."  He quickly emailed back that he had been on a cruise without wifi, but that he was interested even though it is now 2 days after "tomorrow'. They emailed back and said thank you, we will make a decision next week.  Long story short....he got the job!  WOOHOO. It is for a less money than he wanted, but we have already adjusted our budget to less money and it has benefits including a company car. So I am now waiting for God to get Kat and her husband out of the desert, but I am more encouraged that "He's got this."

* A couple months ago when God clearly told me that "I've got this" I was working on a spreadsheet of various cities that Kat's husband was applying for jobs in....looking up ELCA churches and seeing if they had an interim, how old the pastor is, etc.  I told Nick about God talking to me while I was trying to get everything in my Excel spreadsheet.  He said "God probably looks at you and says Isn't she cute, thinking she can control everything with her spreadsheet." Made me smile.

Valentine's Day

To be truthful, I have never liked Valentine's Day.

When I was very young, the valentine's boxes at elementary school stressed me out! Then high school came.  I never dated anyone in high school but  my sister did! One year she had a guy bring her flowers and about 10 minutes after he left, another brought her chocolate. A guy friend of mine bought be some half price chocolate the next day. That was nice but made me feel only half loved. In college, my first boyfriend and I broke up on Valentine's Day. We knew we weren't right for each other and we tried to make it past Valentine's Day, but we just couldn't.  I met and married a much more wonderful man a few years later, and he loves me every day, but I'm still scarred by my earlier Valentine's Days. Fast forward many years to 2014. My sweet daddy went to heaven on Feb 9 and I drove back home on Valentine's Day. We did meet some friends for dinner, but my head was in a fog.

Today, Valentine's Day falls on Ash Wednesday (and Easter will fall on April Fool's Day - weird liturgical year).  So I'm just trying to be loving to everyone I encounter today and remembering that Jesus loved ALL of us so much that he came to earth and lived with us and died for us.  That's the best love! 

Happy Valentine's to you if the day makes you happy! Happy friend's day to you if that is more acceptable. Happy Feb 14 if that's all it is too!

Turning 58 and missing Elliott

I turned 58 a couple days ago!  The day itself had its ups and downs.

To start the day, I got up to check on Elliott and go to the bathroom.  On the way back to bed, I stepped in kitty poop because Deja chose to poop next to her box.  I think she was mad at me about something.

I came to work and that went well.

In the afternoon, Mark and Kathryn took Elliott to the vet because he hasn't been doing very well -- he lost 15 lbs in the last three months.  He was weak, had no muscle, and didn't have much quality of life.  They decided to release him to the Rainbow Bridge.  I hope he is running with Angel now. I always thought that he must be related to Angel because he reminded me so  much of her.

After we took time to cry and grieve a bit, we decided to go out for a birthday dinner.  We had wonderful steak at Outback.  We got our drinks and toasted Elliott.  I will miss him.  I'm sure there will be more dogs in my future, but right now, we are still missing Elliott.

Life does move on.

Losing a friend

You go through life and you get busy.  You sort of lose touch with friends.  Susie would think of someone and send them a postcard.  I sent her one in August, but I don't know if she got it.  I never really knew if she was in Alaska or Arizona.  I got one in September that she wrote on Aug 31.  At that time, I think she was in Alaska.  She was helping take care of her husband who had a heart attack.  But she may have been in Arizona in a very expensive house that she needed to sell.

We met and became friends because we were the only new girls at Nimitz Junior High school in Tulsa in the fall of 1972.  We went to different high schools but we were already best friends.  We went off to OSU together the summer of 1976 and were roommates.  She was absolutely gorgeous with wonderful long hair.  (Stole this from Facebook -- thanks to whoever posted it).

A few years ago, she was going to be alone on New Years Eve.  I talked her into flying to Dallas and staying with us for a couple days.  We had one of our low-key New Years Eve parties where we wore hats and played Apples to Apples.  She had so much fun.  I'm not sure that there was a lot of fun in her adult life.

She was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when she was in her 20's.  That helped explain some of her behavior.  I don't think living in Alaska where it is dark in the winter helped her.

Many years ago, her mother had a stroke.  Susie wasn't her primary caregiver, but she had to fight with a step brother to make sure the bills were paid.  She had to make sure that they had the right caregivers present.  Then her husband had health issues and she took care of him too.  Then he had a heart attack and she went back to Alaska to be with him.  He had a car accident recently driving from Arizona to Alaska.  I think Susie was just done taking care of people.  Someone needed to take care of her.  However, her cousin and her sister tried.  Susie could be stubborn.  Also she didn't want to bother anyone.  So due to all that and more, Susie decided that she was done with life.  On Nov 8, she was just DONE and she took her life.

Oh Susie, I will cherish that last postcard that I got from you.  I wish you knew how many people loved you.  I wish you didn't have Bipolar Disorder which lied to you about how wonderful you are.  I wish I had sent you a postcard after I got the last one.  I wish I could talk to you again and that you could come again to one of my New Years Eve parties.

Has it Really Been 10 Years?

Today as I parked in staff parking at TCC, I noticed a student being dropped off in front of a building.  This isn't that unusual.  Some people have one car for multiple people, some people just don't like to drive, and sometimes the student isn't of driving age.

I recollected that the first semester Kevin was enrolled at TCC as a dual-credit student, he wasn't of driving age for the first couple weeks of class.  So I dropped him off at that same exact spot that I saw another student being dropped off at today.  Then I realized that Kevin is 25 (soon to be 26) and when I dropped him off he was 15 (soon to be 16).  TEN YEARS AGO???? my mind screamed at me.  That can't possibly be right.  However, I am a mathy person and I know that 25-15=10.  How can TEN YEARS go by so quickly?