Was I a Helicopter Mom?

I wonder if I was a helicopter mom. I certainly went to enough parent/teacher meetings to know the teachers and administrators on a first name basis. That was until I didn't want to know them anymore at all and I became the teacher and I slept with the administrator.

Then my students went off to college and I may have given them some advice but I never called a professor or administrator of a college.

But it was made very clear to me last week that I was not an overly protective mom. Last week, I heard sirens coming down my street around 8:00 pm. They turned on the side street next to my house and out of curiosity I walked over. There was an ambulance, a fire truck, and a police car. There was also a neighbor girl sitting on the sidewalk. Other neighbors came out also and I heard the story...they had been rollerskating and this little girl fell and broke her arm. I watched as they loaded her onto the gurney and prepared to rush her to the hospital.

About 10 or 11 years ago, I had just begun homeschooling and my son and I decided to go for a bike ride. (PE class I guess). Well he rode into a parked car and hurt himself. We rode back and he told me that his wrist hurt. I gave him some advil and told him to take a bath -- I was going to Dallas to meet some friends for lunch. I came home a couple hours later and he told he that it still hurt. I probably gave him some more advil. A couple hours later, when he was still complaining about it, I took him to the emergency room where after an x-ray, they told me that he had a broken wrist!

He didn't get any sirens, he didn't get to ride in an ambulance. He got to sit at home while his mom went to lunch and then he finally got to ride in my Honda Accord to the hospital.

Helicopter mom -- definitely not! Neglectful -- not always!

It's a New Year

It's a new year and a new decade. I've heard many of the arguments of how to say this year -- Twenty Ten, Two Thousand Ten, or O-Ten. My preferred way is to say twenty ten and to write MMX.

This year, Mark and I will probably be finding a new church home. It is somewhat difficult to leave a church you have been involved in for over 25 years, but it is time to move on. We may have already found a place, but we will wait until some things at our older church have changed. It is scary and exciting at the same time. Mark and I are very ELCA Lutheran in our thinking, believing, and worshiping. Our current church is not.

I'm going to try to read at least 26 books this year. I really need to make more time to read. I also want to finish Kev's Texas Tech scrapbook as well as start and finish the 2008 and 2009 books. They will probably be a hybrid -- some old fashioned scrapbook pages as well as some digital pages. Of course, I need to start my walking dvd's again.

I'll check back in a few months and see how I'm doing!

The Audacity of Individuality

In the past few weeks, while my kids were in town and I talked to other parents of similarly aged kids, I realized again that my kids are "different".

When talking about all the social aspects of college, I realize that Kathryn just isn't a "normal" college freshman. She didn't want to go greek, she likes going to class, she loves learning new things, she doesn't always wear the standard college attire, she usually gets about 8 hours of sleep each night, and most of her social life is at the Canterbury Center and at church. I suppose she was never the "normal" high school student either, but since she didn't go to high school, it wasn't as noticeable. Everyone who knows Kevin, knows that he is a proud nonconformist.

Today, I was reading an article in the Dallas Morning News about Chris Howard, who is now the first black president of Hampden-Sydney College, a predominantly while all-male school in Virginia. The article is well written and I'm sure he is a great man. But one of his quotes made me go 'aha' -- that's the definition of my kids. I'm quoting the DMN (article by Jessica Meyers) which is quoting him -- (no plagiarism for me) .

"He's started telling his cadre of male students to stub their toes, be humbled by the complexity and subtlety of experiences, and to embrace ambiguity. 'I call it the audacity of individuality,' he said. 'So many people tell you what you should be. Follow your passions first and acquire sets of skills that empower.'"

So that's my Kevin and my Kathryn -- they each have the audacity of individuality!

Woohoo -- I'm so proud of them!

Year end wrap up

2009 is just a few hours away from ending. This year, both my kids graduated and went on to other pursuits. Kev graduated from college and entered grad school; Kat graduated from high school and entered college.

I went to work at TCC parttime in the Continuing Educ department. I think I would like a full time job someday.

Mark spent about 135 nights in a Marriott hotel! Just shows how much he travels.

Right now, Kev and Mark are at a Boy Scout leadership camp but they will be home before midnight. In the next week, Kev will return to Ohio and then Kat to Oklahoma. I will go back to work and "normal" life will resume.

Next year, I plan to read more books. I think I have gotten out of the habit of reading. I picked one up recently at the library by Jonathan Kellerman who is one of my favorite authors. I finished the book, "True Detectives", but I certainly didn't think it was one of his better ones. Anyway, I am going to get back into reading.

Melancholy and Decorating

I have bunco this week. So today I was out running errands to get ready for bunco, fill the little communion cups for tomorrow, and grocery shop. One of my stops was Walgreens. Walgreens is at the same location that used to be a Burrus Grocery Store. I hardly ever shopped there. However, as I pulled into the parking lot of Walgreens, I remembered going to Burrus one time with Kevin who was probably around 5. He had left Bunny Honey in the car and when we came out, Bunny Honey was sitting on the dashboard. Either he came alive while we were in there or Mark drove by and did it. We'll never know because Mark never confessed, and I'm sure he has forgotten by now. Anyway, the remembrance didn't so much make me sad as it made me go -- where did the years go? My little boy is now a man in graduate school!

On decorating, I always think others are judging me on my lack of making my house a showcase. It is a home, but it is frequently messy, pet hair everywhere, and I don't really like cleaning it. Does this make me a bad mother -- sometimes it feels like it does. I want to shout to those that are judging me (who probably aren't really) hey, I homeschooled my kids, I went back to work to help pay for college -- cut me some slack. In reality, it is me who needs to cut me some slack! But please, someone, explain to me why part of my living room decor has to be ugly green boxes of ammo!

Theatre or Theater

On Monday everything fell into place to allow me to go to the Dallas Theater Center's reading of The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later. I had really wanted to see this but failed to make a reservation or ask for the evening off from work. However, since school was out that day, I only had students until 5 and I found out that the production hadn't sold out.

I wanted to see the reading because it was being done in over 150 theaters across the world including one in Oxford Ohio where my son was taking part. I couldn't see him, but I could still see the same play at the same time. I didn't get to see Kevin, but the Dallas production had Tony award winning actress, Betty Buckley in it -- and that was a cool thing.

The Laramie Project was done 10 years ago about how Laramie Wyoming had reacted to the death of Matthew Shepherd who was killed because he was gay. This production 10 years later, the same people went back to Laramie to see how Laramie had changed in 10 years.

It was very well done. This time they were even able to interview the two perpetrators -- one is remorseful, one not so much.

After the play, the audience took part in a discussion as to how Dallas and the US have changed. It was interesting.

But, the reason I'm writing this isn't just about how moving the play is -- it's how I feel when I go to the theatre in Dallas. For some reason I feel like everyone else is a cool Dallas urbanite and I'm the country suburbanite. I feel like wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm not really a theatre person, but I raised one -- and he's cool!" It's like I want to say "I know I'm not cool, but my son's cool - so I'm ok". It's hard to explain.

Another thing, this was the last performance of the DTC in this theatre because they just opened their new one in the Dallas Arts District and I may not be cool -- but I definitely want to go see that building.

Oh, about 60% of the audience was gay and of course the discussion was about acceptance of gays. I really wished that the pastor of my church could have been there. I don't think he could actually sit in a room where there were that many gay people -- but he needs to hear that hate is not the answer!

I was impressed that the performance was complementary of the DTC, and donations were accepted for the Matthew Shepherd Foundation.

Before the play, there was a live webcast from New York which had the the main guy from the Tectonic group who wrote the play introduced people involved in it -- and he introduced one and said that he was the dramaturg -- and I knew what that was! Maybe I'm more cool than I think.

So why is theater spelled two ways? Is it theatre or theater?

Who me? - Worry?

My son just told me to quit worrying about him. He is right! I need to do this and having him say it out loud helps. I was worrying because he is many many miles away, he borrowed a large sum of money for grad school, he has a huge paper due before Thanksgiving, etc., etc.

But you know what, I pray for him, and I know God watches out for him. As much as I love Kevin, God loves him even more.

The other reasons for me to stop worrying are the things that Kevin has already accomplished in his 2 decades plus 2 years: Eagle Scout, member of Phi Beta Kappa, graduated Magna Cum Laude in Honors Studies, accepted into the college of his choice for grad college.

Thank you God for loving Kevin.
Thank you Kevin for putting it bluntly to me -- "stop worrying so much".